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thd Alanis would have a field day with that degree of irony. A rowdy drunken Irish carpenter I dated for four years who was, initially, outwardly homophobic. I was out of town one week.

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It was indeed absolutely freaking shocking at the time, and yes, I berated him from the infidelity angle, which was deserved since this was more than a sext. He was actively trying to make this happen.

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At the time, a newer boyfriend, but a guy I had known a long time. He was sort of a dope-head, Eminem-looking suburban kid from my hometown with a huge…. This was the most crushing of sexts, because it was not even a sext at all.

This pure kind of emotional infidelity is the most painful and unforgivable. You can imagine that a penis might stray, but not a heart. It was about wanting to replace me with his previous girlfriend.

These are the texts you want to watch out for, ladies. The current babe in my life.

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Has knuckle tattoos, works on the railroad, and is sickeningly brilliant at crossword puzzles. Last year, I caught my boyfriend sending his ex a photo of himself in his Batman underwear.

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Which I found even creepier, to be honest. You take pictures of yourself in only Batman underpants?

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When he fessed up, he explained he was feeling insecure about ssx relationship because I was still very non-sexually friendly with one of my exes. The story lined up.

Because we live in a modern world where the past follows us around like a stalker. The thing is, if everything else in your relationship is pretty awesome, and the offense is pretty minor, you have to know he or she cannot autocorrect their mistakes.